My Road

When I began to homeschool 10 year ago, (my how fast the time flies) the picture I envisioned for our homeschool days went something like this: Me, coming out of my room after an hour or so of prayer and Bible study, my makeup freshly applied, my hair perfectly groomed, wearing a dress that I had made myself. My children sitting at the table, in matching hand made outfits, finishing their breakfast of warm baked bread and homemade jam, from berries that we picked on a field trip while studying native vegetation. They would have already cleaned their rooms and made their beds while singing hymns of gratitude for all their blessings. Then they would eagerly come to the table in anticipation of today’s learning. The older children working happily on next weeks lessons because they worked ahead just for the sheer joy of learning, while the younger child sits quietly nearby playing with legos and puzzles. But then I wake up.

What actually happens is more like this...

Me, in my house robe staggering out of my room heading for the coffee pot, the only prayer on my lips is “ Please get me through this day Lord.” My faced is lined with pillow creases and my hair hangs limply in my face. My children are either sleeping in late or sitting at the table waiting for me to get the presweetened poison... I mean cereal, down for them. They fight and argue over who gets the last bit of Cookie Crisp or the last Pop Tart. Their beds haven’t be made, mine either for that matter. Their rooms might have carpet, I haven’t seen the floor lately. Instead of singing hymns of thanksgiving I hear howls of dissent

“Mom! Tell her to stop looking at me!”

“I’m not looking at her!”

Then later that morning...after I announce it is time for school I hear moans, groans and deep sighs of semi-silent protest. To which I give the universal homeschooling response, “Your lucky to be home, you could have been in school for 3 hours already!” To top it all off, none of us even like legos!

That is a more accurate picture of homeschooling in my home. They are fallen sinners saved by grace, just like their mom, who happens to be their teacher. We are not perfected by any means, but I know that by training, teaching and guiding them at home we all are learning to lean on on the Lord to make up for my own short comings as a mother and a teacher.

Proverbs 1:7 tells us that “the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge.” This knowledge just isn’t intellect but also encompasses wisdom. Many intelligent people make foolish choices. The Bible says in Psalm 14:1 “The fool says in his heart, “There is no God.” I don’t want to raise fools, but wise individuals who look to the Lord for guidance. When one “fears the Lord”, looking to Him and His ways, they will strive to do their work with excellence, as we are urged in Ecclesiastes 9:10, & Colossians 3:17,23-24. When we do the Lord’s will His plans will succeed, Psalm 37:5, Proverbs 16:3 and Philippians 1:6.

My goals for my children are that their lives are God centered, with the Living Word in their hearts, that they are Christ-minded, and Spirit led. I want them prepared to serve the Lord, sharing Jesus, with the foolish of the world, using their God given gifts and talents. God has entrusted me with these children to raise them for His glory. Someday I will answer to Him for my faithfulness and stewardship of the children He has given me. More than anything I want Him to say, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.”

Am I achiving that lofty goal? Somedays it is hard to tell if I’m having any impact at all, when the girls argue about meaningless things, when the house is a shambles and the science experiment didn’t work. Then there are the days when the girls surprise me by doing the laundry, reading books to their little sister, and I over hear one telling another that doing what God wants isn’t always the easiest thing, but it is the best thing. Those are the moments that keep me on this road the Lord has lead me down, knowing that it’s His goals that will be reached.

~Marni