I expected great things out of motherhood when I entered into it almost nine years ago! I mean great things - the well-behaved child: always clean, perfect manners, never throwing a fit, no messes or drama, all things on schedule.
I still, nine years later and 3 more kids(4 in all) expect great things of motherhood, the great things have just changed. You see quickly I realized that I could not do all things - someone had lied to me about motherhood, and the expectations, the standards were too high.
Motherhood is one of those seasons of undone things. Laundry - always undone, toilets - never as clean as I want them. Bathtubs - left with dripping wash cloths, and filled with toys that have to be cleaned. Laundry - I'm a mother of 4!! You don't even want me to go there! I came back recently from a trip - I had NO laundry in the laundry room. I took all four kids with me. I went to the laundry room to put up my dirty clothes (that amounted to ONE load) and almost had a stroke!! There was laundry up to my knees, I almost need a pitch-fork to clean it all out and sort it. My wonderful husband had cleaned the kids room while we were gone and gathered the laundry under the beds and mattresses, behind the dressers and anywhere else kids hide dirty laundry they don't want to walk ten steps to put in the hamper or clean laundry they don't want to put up. There are always dishes to wash, put away, or prepare with food. Toys - please - they are everywhere! Forget dusting - June Cleaver does not live here - and I have given the chore of the vacuuming to my oldest two (the kids are the ones who seem to get food everywhere and where does all the torn up tiny peices of confetti size paper come from?!).
However, when I am absolutely exhausted and leaning on the dryer for support as I fold the third load of towels for the day and spend my prayer time with God. I am reminded in this season of being undone I have learned to be ever more dependent on God. May my life never reach a season when I am so comfortable and so "done up" that I become unuseful to God or cease to call on his name.
When my emotions are stretched tight as a clothes line cord that has heavy dripping sheets hanging on it that are whipping in the north wind and I feel as if I might snap - my Lord gives me strenght - in a child's sweet "I Love YOU!"
When I feel as if I might run from my house pulling my hair and throwing my apron in for surrender (Yes, I really wear one), becuase my children have fought over every little thing and yelled all day long. My Redeemer whispers peace in a childs gentle kiss.
When my kids have fought, and complained, made messes and yelled and I feel like a Military Cop instead of a mother. My Savior says you matter in a child's "Thank you mommy for the "appppple juuuuice".
In my very season of undoneness I have learned that true worth is in just that - being pliable enough to be undone so that God can work in me and through me for the salvation of my children. When I am undone, and I turn to him peace insues and I am able to stop and realize that all that matters to the world - - - all this that seems undone according to their standards can wait as long as what's done is done to the glory of God and what's done is my children first.
A Mother undone - is one on her knees asking for the wisdom to raise her children in the knowledge of the Lord, seeking his counsel. And that ladies is the woman in Proverbs that is more precious than rubies.
Let me be a mother undone for the glory of God!
Keeping My Faith in Tact!
1 year ago
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